Dicipline

My fiance next to me definitely shows that my dicipline isn't as sharp as I thought. He has been getting up every morning at 6am to go workout, it's just crazy to me how he does that. He works really hard or really likes working out. When I'm sore and I feel like I deserve a break but he doesn't do that till the weekend and still then he still works out. Yesterday morning I said I'm going to the gym with you so I went and was board but I did work out a little bit, I tried to keep pushing. I think I need to take some vitamines so I have more energy and get more acomplished. I also need to set different goals like getting involved in the new community I live and somehow learn about the military community I will soon be forever connected to. I talk a big talk about how I feel it's probably about time that I put it to use and do something with this voice. Will get back to you when I figure those things out and see what happens. Till next time.

Play Time

I wonder at what age did I feel fear for the first time. It was probably fearing my parents were going to beat me if I didn't do what I was told. Then when I got older I was afraid of what people at school thought about me. If they were mean then I was afraid of not fitting in. I remember going to school in the first grade on Halloween in a witch costume my mother had made me and the kids made fun of me because I was the only one not in kindergarden wearing my costume. My teacher waited for my mother to come get me to change clothes and the whole time my friends were making fun of me. How come I didn't know, how come my mother didn't know. That was probably the begining of my weird comprehension of details. At home I was at an early age considered Kelly Bundy because I acted like what my mother called a Blonde. I'm not sure what that makes me feel fear but I remember it. It's a wonderful thing to not be afraid, I think the time I felt the strongest was when I was playing, it could of been in the park feeding the ducks, riding my bike on the bike trail in Walnut Creek or playing sports and dancing. That's where I put all my energy. At least I had those playing times, at least my parents allowed me to have an outlet and play somewhere even if it wasn't at home.

City Girl in a Small Town

Today is day 11 since the move from Los Angeles, technically it's 6 since I was gone for 4 of the days working in Vegas. The mornings are beautiful seeing the sun rise and the evening are beautiful seeing the sun set. It's more freezing than I'm used to here in Tucson Arizona but it's a whole lot warmer than the East coast where me and Chris plan on moving by Spring. Yesterday as I was in Target thinking I will be able to say I have lived in a small town once in my life in Tucson AZ. I only plan on being here for another two more months, I couldn't imagine being here for too long. I appreciate the easy going of this place but right now not sure if I could be here forever. I feel like my mother in this extremely white town, even though I can pass for a hispanic and my mother is much darker black woman and at the time in the 1980's in Walnut Creek, Ca wore her hair in braids with beads on them, looking like an African Princess to the white people in Walnut Creek. Just the thought of being the chic artsy wife in a small town makes me cringe. I don't want to be that, I still want to act and I still want to write. I never want to work for someone else for very long and I want to be creative all the time. I like having free time and I like come and go.
How interesting would it be to see a story about a girl from a big city and decides to move to a small town for love? I think it's time for a new romantic novel or movie with a black leading lady that isn't in the typical settings. Why not me and why not my story. It's about time I get to work and write it out. On that note it's time for some character developement. Ta Ta!