Play Time

I wonder at what age did I feel fear for the first time. It was probably fearing my parents were going to beat me if I didn't do what I was told. Then when I got older I was afraid of what people at school thought about me. If they were mean then I was afraid of not fitting in. I remember going to school in the first grade on Halloween in a witch costume my mother had made me and the kids made fun of me because I was the only one not in kindergarden wearing my costume. My teacher waited for my mother to come get me to change clothes and the whole time my friends were making fun of me. How come I didn't know, how come my mother didn't know. That was probably the begining of my weird comprehension of details. At home I was at an early age considered Kelly Bundy because I acted like what my mother called a Blonde. I'm not sure what that makes me feel fear but I remember it. It's a wonderful thing to not be afraid, I think the time I felt the strongest was when I was playing, it could of been in the park feeding the ducks, riding my bike on the bike trail in Walnut Creek or playing sports and dancing. That's where I put all my energy. At least I had those playing times, at least my parents allowed me to have an outlet and play somewhere even if it wasn't at home.